You may win or lose

To the future baby killer brood…

You’re still a but a dream in your mama and papas mind, a lovely hope for the future, and a joke of a stay at home papa bear with a working mama. I am sure that you will be crazy crazy tots, with stubborn and vivacious personalities with an energy that makes me tired to even think about. If there is one thing that I hope you will know, and one piece of advice that will likely be repeated to you over and over and over again, it is to simply be yourself.

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“even when you’ve paid enough, been put upon or held up with every single memory of the good or bad, faces of luck don’t lose any sleep tonight I’m sure everything will end up alright. You may win or lose, but to be yourself is all that you can do”

Its a bit of a life lesson, one that you will have to consciously remind yourself of many times, in the face of a myriad of differing situations. Its one that your mama still struggles with – sometimes you just want to ‘fit in’ and you can’t help but notice the group you label ‘cool’ or the ones that ridicule you for being you. But it’s also a very empowering knowledge to be able to stand firm in and grow to celebrate – all your quirks and craziness. And trust me, oh trust me – you will be loved, you will be so loved, and you will have quality lifers of friends who will do the journey with you. I hope you never have the nickname of ‘tag along’ and the things that you hate passionately whilst growing up will turn into things you are proud of and grow to love.

Here’s the thing little ones, you will be loved for exactly who you are. No matter what. You will always have a safe place in your family – whether the people you encounter in the world or kind or trying break you and your precious spirit. So I hope that with the confidence and knowledge of that you will not hold back in standing tall, looking the world in the eye and no matter what, being yourself and being true to yourself. Like Dr Suess said, ‘Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is Youer than you!’ 

The world needs you, not someone you try to be in order to impress someone, or fit in where they try to tell you you have to. You were born to do great things, to change lives, to make someone laugh, to be someones shoulder when they cry, to encourage, to challenge, to grow. No one else can do what you were born to do. Dream big, and don’t forget who you are, and who you are growing to be.

We love you.

<linking with ‘The Things I’d Tell You’ for her new blog prompt link thinger…. this week was challenging for me, but I think I got it right from my heart>

I thought that if I didn’t go and play, the sadness would get bored and go away…

Dear Self,

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Cut it a break already please? I know that your home and your little head aren’t full of the life and laughter that normally occupies 90% of its space, but it doesn’t make you any less of anything, it just means that you are living life and sometimes life takes us on a journey that isn’t so full of the places we are used to.

In the words of David Levithan, ‘Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you’re friends is easy. Being friends is not.’ Generally that means that you will be disappointed, people will let you down and your heart will hurt thanks to life and all that it brings. However, it also means that people will get to show they love you, walk you through moments and situations that you haven’t dealt with and are unsure of dealing with. It means that you will know the truth that when you feel you are falling, people will catch you and you will be carried until you find your strength to walk again.

Give yourself permission to feel your emotions – pretending they are not there or stuffing them back into a box isn’t going to help anyone, or make them go away. Don’t apologise for the way you are feeling, or berate yourself to be something other than who you are. You are who you are, and as long as you are moving forward there is no need to feel that you ‘should be’ something other. You are strong. You do not back down when you know in your heart you are standing up for something that is right – as a dear friend pointed out, that can make you a target. When all your brain chemicals calm the heck down and sort themselves out, you will realise that being intuitive and gentle is not a weakness, but a strength and also takes you places where others who are ‘different’ never get to walk. It is a privilege to walk those paths, and helps you to be awesome in parts of your life and really make a difference.

As someone who knows this place well wrote this morning ‘even with everything in it’s right place, it’s okay if you still don’t know why it does’t feel that way’. Start small, and just keep putting one step in front of the other, even if your steps are only a millimetre apart… you are still moving forward. Be kind, feel the love and support. If you need to, get lost in your books and your movies, your work and your uni assignments. Do anything – just keep doing, keep moving. Make new rituals and traditions, celebrate life and enjoy being around other people. Know that even in the biggest crowds there is always someone looking out for you and you are safe.

Be kind. No more of those mean thoughts. Bring out the christmas tree, even if it’s the black christmas tree of ELP delve into the magic you normally embrace. Choose to laugh and be ridiculous and spend time in the company of lifer friends. Rise above it, know that you are good. Be smug. Fake it till you make it. Don’t let anyone run you out of where you are meant to be.

As for right now? Do the washing up – ELP is working hard (i’m not saying you are not, just different demons) and will be ever grateful when he comes home that his house chore has been done.

Love xxx